Woman's boyfriend is swinging both ways

Dear Pastor,

First of all let me tell you what a great job you are doing. Please keep up the good work. I do not know what to do. I am a 25-year-old. I left high school with honours and went to a local university. But despite pressure from my father to do medicine, I chose to study finance. I think I live an ok lifestyle here in Kingston.

The problem is, I have had a boyfriend for the past five years. He is a really nice guy. He parties a lot and attends all the major parties in Kingston and Negril. Recently, he went to a well-known club in Kingston and met some 'new friends', both males and females. They live in Kingston as well.

They invited him to a private party not far from where I live. I decided not to be "nuff" and allowed him to go alone. A few days after, he started asking me to have these new friends (three girls and two guys) to join us in bed during sex. I allowed it once for the 'fun of it'. During that one instance, he forced me into having sex with the girls that came. While these girls were pleasuring me, I noticed one of the males passionately caressing his body and the other performing oral sex on him. I was too drunk during the session to intervene, so I let it pass.

I made mention of it to him recently and he got upset. He said that if I ever mention it to anyone else, he would kill my sister and me. He is one of those 'garrison yutes' and he said if anyone found out, he would have to leave his area as well as Jamaica.

I do not know what to do. My sister is a counsellor and she is the only one who knows about the incident. He keeps telling me he wants us to do it again, this time with only the guys. I have no choice but to believe that he is now gay. I cannot leave him, as I am afraid of what he will do to me, as he has showed me his gun before as a threat. I need help.

M.

Dear M.,

I suggest that you leave this man forthwith. And you need not be scared about his threats. You have been fortunate to have a good education, but you have associated yourself with a man who has no class. He is not a good man. A good man will not force his woman (and my emphasis is on force) to have sex with his friends, both males and females. You made a big mistake in agreeing to participate in such sex party. These people used liquor to break down your inhibition so that they could have had their way with you. You should not do so again regardless what your so-called boyfriend says. And you should report him to the police without fear.

You claim that he has a gun and that he is a 'ghetto yute'. There are many 'ghetto yutes' who repudiate any form of homosexual practice, and that is why he does not want people in his area to know what he has become. Be strong. Don't allow this man to intimidate you. Don't give him the impression that you are afraid of him.

Pastor