Bitter pill to swallow

I am married to a woman for nine years and it has been like a bitter pill for me. I knew her for four years before we got married and all this was her idea. I am now in my mid 30s and she is in her late 20s. For some time now she has been trying to dominate me. If I am to take a flight she objects and stuff like that - I mean a controlling woman. I hate that and that was not how she was.

We have a child and built a home together and we were in love. Over the years things got so bad that even when I compromised she treated me badly.

Pastor, she stopped washing my clothes, cooking my meals and all that. It really bothers me a lot and, at the same time, I am taking care of all the bills and food and she saves her money and disrespects me in front of our daughter. We were Christians before we got married but she walked away from the church and is now living a promiscuous life. She always boasts about her sexual lifestyle outside the marriage and has men calling the house all times of night.

The devil is let loose. My pastor called her and she did not show up. I am tired of it now and I really need a divorce. It's too long now. It has been more than two years and she has not changed at all.

She bought her stuff and was willing to move out, but this time I will help her move because it's unbearable for me. I need a life with a strong woman of God. It's making me feel sad all the time. I work too hard. She had two abortions behind my back and boasts about it. I think she is mad. Once, she tried to set the house on fire.

We went to counselling and she said she wanted a divorce and then she said no to it, so I am in limbo. I need to get on with my life. Because of how she treats me, I refuse to give her money or anything. Now, I just spend it on my daughter. As for sex, that's out of the picture. I don't even have any nature for her again. It's like vomit.

Pastor, I need your help and all the Christians out there to pray for me. She even burnt me with boiling water when I spoke to her about her infidelity, and I had reported her to the police. Tell me what else to do.

G. T., St Catherine, Jamaica

Dear G. T.,

What I must suggest is that you should go and see a lawyer before one of you kills the other. Do so early, dear brother.

Pastor